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Author
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Topic: Divorce question
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uncle bill
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Member # 3953
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posted
 
 
someone gave me advise once, they said "its better to be happy than right". it means dont sweat the small stuff. i try to follow that but its easier said than done. you said you dont want a divorce, then you and your wife need to have a serious talk, come with an open mind and leave the tuff guy at home. ive been married for 32 years this thursday got married at 21 do the math. hasnt always been easy but may have been the best thing i ever did since i was very wild and crazy in my youth. now im just semi wild and crazy. good luck, if you love her and shes worth it to you than shes worth keepin
forgot one thing. kids are great, they keep you grounded, but they wont save the marrage if you guys arent right for each other, if you split later the kids suffer the most
[ May 11, 2010, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: uncle bill ]
Posts: 415 | From: antioch | Registered: Dec 2003
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SLOWBACK 67
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Member # 6348
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posted
+1 on what he said.
I went through a ruff patch with my girl. We went to couples classes and realize we weren't that f&@ked up. We both got alot out of doing the class together and I ended up getting engaged about a year later.
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Originally posted by turbo50:
I have no intenions of keeping anyones parts or taking anyones money.
Posts: 8582 | From: Vallejo | Registered: Dec 2005
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turbo50
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Member # 6700
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posted
Remember your wedding vows and remind her of the same.
Marriage is sacred.
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.........when was the last time YOU built something with YOUR own hands?
I offer quality sidework at reasonable prices. PM ME
Posts: 7606 | From: Discovery Bay, California | Registered: Apr 2006
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90gtvert
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Member # 8697
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posted
Just remember to invest in a good shovel and trash bags if it goes South....probably easier that one....
Anyways I went through a nasty one, its tough man, work it out if you can.
Its cheaper to stay together for sure, and hopefully things work out for you.
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90 GT Vert
93 GT
http://www.110octanephotography.com
Posts: 1889 | From: Bay Area | Registered: Oct 2008
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Yaterstang
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Member # 7659
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
Perfect, drop that bitch then. If she's actin up before kids then its only going to get worse with them!
Posts: 2968 | From: Natomas | Registered: May 2007
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2BlueGeeTees
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Member # 4702
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posted
Dave has it right. I gotta let her kno. We did this for a reason
Posts: 2316 | From: Vacaville | Registered: Jul 2004
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iceman302
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Member # 7180
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by 1sicmaro:
have some one go out with her and then catch her cheating then she wont get shit.
Its not that easy in the great state of California. We've got ourselves a community property state. Basically, everything that's yours is hers and vice versa. If she happens to chat, that unfortunately doesn't change the rules of community property. Barring a solid prenup, she still gets half... even if she's been ridden more times than a dime store pony.
[ May 11, 2010, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: iceman302 ]
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'65 Mustang Fastback
Posts: 4171 | From: Rancho Murieta | Registered: Oct 2006
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Eddie510-
CAFords OG
Member # 2354
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by Yaterstang:
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
Perfect, drop that bitch then. If she's actin up before kids then its only going to get worse with them!
+ FUCKIN 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"I like to be more politicaly correct than what I really believe so I can get more frinds here on CaFords"-Cummings "TIPICKLE"
Posts: 6556 | Registered: Jan 2003
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2BlueGeeTees
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Member # 4702
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posted
Honestly she left cuz of my attitude and behavior. I'm tryin to get my act together but I'm not sure she believes I won't treat her poorly again. Dammit man. I don't wanna lose her but ultimately I don't wanna lose my stuff either
Posts: 2316 | From: Vacaville | Registered: Jul 2004
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Notch1320
Man Pedal
Member # 2647
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posted
Lose the toys! On paper, sell them to a trusted friend she doesn't really know. Work something out to hide them and all the valuable stuff car wise. Be smart about it, and if she knows the details of all your toys, you may be screwed. I was divorced back on 05 and lost a nice Cobra bacause I thought things would work out, so I never did anything to hide it. My race car was ripped apart, and when the subject came up of it's value, I printed her a KBB value on a non running 88 Mustang. She didn't get shit from it. She did however end up with half the value of my truck, race car trailer, house, and took the Cobra with her. Try your best to work it out, but cover your ass before it's too late!!!
At least there are no kids!!!
[ May 11, 2010, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: Notch1320 ]
Posts: 2349 | From: Yuba City, CA | Registered: Mar 2003
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CompSVT
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Member # 7392
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posted
Tom Leykis said it best "D.T.B."
Posts: 892 | From: 510 | Registered: Jan 2007
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bigjerry
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Member # 6033
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posted
Hire a hit man vs lawyer
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89 GT vert in progress ....
Posts: 433 | From: Sacramento | Registered: Sep 2005
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SLOWBACK 67
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Member # 6348
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posted
^ you can make a craigslist ad.... ![[Whoo Whooooo!]](graemlins/woowoo.gif)
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Originally posted by turbo50:
I have no intenions of keeping anyones parts or taking anyones money.
Posts: 8582 | From: Vallejo | Registered: Dec 2005
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Red98
New Member
Member # 4625
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posted
1. If she was trying to get pg and at the same time so unhappy with the relationship she was contemplating divorce, she's mentally/emotionally very immature and self centered. That's the kiss of death for a marriage. She's obviously someone you love, but at the same time with that mind set, not a good marriage partner at this time of her life. Those traits are hard for her to overcome as she doesn't see them as a problem.
2. You at least admit what the problem was, attitude and behavior and treating her poorly. Very few women would put up with that, and those that do won't be happy. Those are hard to change, but if you see them as a negative behavior, and want to change, you can.
3. Based on my experience for years with a mentally/emotionally immature self centered woman, if she doesn't want a divorce, I would. Not what you want to hear. But that's just my experience. And like with me, you need to clean your crap up, as you already mentioned.
4. You can always get new "stuff", but you can't always get happy.
As far as community property goes, it's stuff you get while you're married. If one of you bought a car during the marriage, it is completely community property, meaning 50/50 ownership. If you owned a car, house etc before the marriage, then it depends on the value of that item at time of divorce as to who owns what part.
If you owned a house when you got married and it cost say $200,000, but now is worth anything under 200,000, there is no gain in community value and she would have no financial interest in the house. It it is worth $250,000 now, there is $50,000 of community value, so she has a $25,000 interest in your house.
Same with a car, but if you owned it before marriage, and they usually depreciate, then she has no financial interest in the car. If you owned a clunker at marriage, and restored it to where it is worth more that when married, she has a financial interest. Based on my experience. And I don't think selling for cheap or transferring ownership is going to fly.
Good luck.
Posts: 8 | From: Sacramento | Registered: Jun 2004
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65Elii916
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Member # 9988
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posted
WIN HER BACK DOOOD!
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65 Mustang 302
Posts: 29 | Registered: May 2010
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Nastysvt
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Member # 6431
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posted
Watch this movie called fireproof. It's the perfect movie to watch on this situation. I guarantee it'll have some affect on your decision.
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Built 98 Cobra
Built C6 Z06
Daily TBSS
Posts: 2575 | From: Valley to the Bay | Registered: Jan 2006
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BIGBALLFACTOR
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Member # 7277
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
Honestly she left cuz of my attitude and behavior. I'm tryin to get my act together but I'm not sure she believes I won't treat her poorly again. Dammit man. I don't wanna lose her but ultimately I don't wanna lose my stuff either
the best then i can tell from the dumb shit stuff i have done to my woman over the years is be honestly about how you feel about her in your life an go get help for what ever is making you take your angreesion at on her.an start dating her again like when you frist meet even it's only one nite a week if this doen't work start hiding shit b/c a pissed off woman can be evil an ruthless
Posts: 6908 | From: okc | Registered: Dec 2006
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Smoked50
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Member # 9592
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posted
Try to work it out. +1 on you guys got married for a reason. If you guys broke up because of the way you acted and you still want to be with her just change. I haven't been through a divorce but I've been through a major break up and after a while we both realized how much we wanted/needed each other. Good luck. Hope that helped and hope you guys work it out.
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1993 4 Cyl - 68 RWHP
I live my life a quarter mile at a time. For those 25 seconds or less, I'm free.
Posts: 2262 | From: EB | Registered: Nov 2009
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