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[QUOTE]Originally posted by fasthatch: [QB] STORIES FROM QUANTAS AIRLINES: Pilot Report: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. Solution Recorded: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. Pilot Report: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. Solution Recorded: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. Pilot Report: Something loose in cockpit. Solution Recorded: Something tightened in cockpit. Pilot Report: Dead bugs on windshield. Solution Recorded: Live bugs on back-order. Pilot Report: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Solution Recorded: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. Pilot Report: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Solution Recorded: Evidence removed. Pilot Report: DME volume unbelievably loud. Solution Recorded: DME volume set to more believable level. Pilot Report: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Solution Recorded: That's what they're there for. Pilot Report: IFF inoperative. Solution Recorded: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. Pilot Report: Suspected crack in windshield. Solution Recorded: Suspect you're right. Pilot Report: Number 3 engine missing. Solution Recorded: Engine found on right wing after brief search. Pilot Report: Aircraft handles funny. Solution Recorded: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. Pilot Report: Target radar hums. Solution Recorded: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. Pilot Report: Mouse in cockpit. Solution Recorded: Cat installed. Pilot Report: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Solution Recorded: Took hammer away from midget [/QB][/QUOTE]
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fasthatch
Member # 7277
posted
STORIES FROM QUANTAS AIRLINES:
Pilot Report: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Solution Recorded: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Pilot Report: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Solution Recorded: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Pilot Report: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution Recorded: Something tightened in cockpit.
Pilot Report: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution Recorded: Live bugs on back-order.
Pilot Report: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Solution Recorded: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Pilot Report: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution Recorded: Evidence removed.
Pilot Report: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution Recorded: DME volume set to more believable level.
Pilot Report: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution Recorded: That's what they're there for.
Pilot Report: IFF inoperative.
Solution Recorded: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Pilot Report: Suspected crack in windshield.
Solution Recorded: Suspect you're right.
Pilot Report: Number 3 engine missing.
Solution Recorded: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Pilot Report: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution Recorded: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Pilot Report: Target radar hums.
Solution Recorded: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Pilot Report: Mouse in cockpit.
Solution Recorded: Cat installed.
Pilot Report: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Solution Recorded: Took hammer away from midget
CHUGGNBREW'Z
Member # 7845
posted
copy and paste
Yaterstang
Member # 7659
posted
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