When girls don't put out!! - Northern California Ford Owners

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Posted by kingroy (Member # 7736) on :

When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Posted by 90gtvert (Member # 8697) on :

Lol...funny every time I see this on the net.

Mike

Posted by F8LSN8K (Member # 7080) on :

haha lmao!!!

Posted by NiftyWhiteFifty (Member # 4320) on :

quote:
Originally posted by 90gtvert:
Lol...funny every time I see this on the net.

Mike

hahahahaha Nice! [patriot]

Posted by Sharks_30 (Member # 8922) on :

New to the Board.... Thought this was funny...LMAO.......

Posted by 925GT50 (Member # 2683) on :

[worship]

good laugh there aint heard that one.

Posted by Fast_Bitch (Member # 2316) on :

that was funny . . . [Razz]

Posted by 92_chp (Member # 5574) on :

A little old, but still funny as hell. [Big Grin]

Posted by blubyu90gt (Member # 6684) on :

that was funny LMAO.... [Big Grin]

Posted by 87droptop50 (Member # 7185) on :

Damn I needed a good laugh

Posted by 50Reasons (Member # 6452) on :

heared that before but still funny ass shiznit [Big Grin]

Posted by 92stangLX (Member # 3252) on :

Nice one. That should have a warning on it that says "MEN DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME" [Big Grin]

Posted by ModularMotorz (Member # 5954) on :

Good stuff [Big Grin]

Posted by Tha91SiCkNeSs (Member # 5790) on :

Has anyone ever actually tried this??

Posted by Mustang Mike (Member # 4057) on :

This Never gets old...

Posted by TwoTone91GT (Member # 7254) on :

wow.... good laugh got me during the middle of the story haha i was like man hes doing all that to get some hm...

Posted by 95GTConvtACE (Member # 6399) on :

Funny.

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