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Author
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Topic: **JOKE** The Koala and the Lizard
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AL STOCK
Its All Stock
Cuzzon
Member # 1852
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posted
 
 
The Koala and the Lizard
A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says:
"Hey Koala, what are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up, sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.
After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this, swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at the crocodile and says:
"Faaaaarrrrk dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"
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.:: FANATICS ::.
93 Cobra Teal
93 Cobra V Red
90 SSP
SVT Raptor
Huracan Rosso Mars
E63s W213 Selenite Gray
C7Z M7 Daytona Sunrise
Posts: 6498 | From: San Bruno | Registered: Sep 2002
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AL STOCK
Its All Stock
Cuzzon
Member # 1852
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posted
::: And Then The Fight Started :::
My wife sat down on
the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
====================================================================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 Seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
====================================================================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
Expensive - so I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
====================================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,and I kept
Staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my
old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
Drinking right after we split up
those many years ago, and I hear she
Hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
That long?'
And then the fight started...
===========================================================
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
Verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
Home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
And come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
Silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might Have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
====================================================================
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
With what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
Fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
====================================================================
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
First."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you
Worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started.....
--------------------
.:: FANATICS ::.
93 Cobra Teal
93 Cobra V Red
90 SSP
SVT Raptor
Huracan Rosso Mars
E63s W213 Selenite Gray
C7Z M7 Daytona Sunrise
Posts: 6498 | From: San Bruno | Registered: Sep 2002
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NEIGHT
¯
Member # 8741
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posted
LMAO ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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-Savage Habits-
1992 Summer Edition
1986 Hatch- catfish killer
1964 Impala hard top
Posts: 18532 | From: EA$T $IDE REDWOOD CITY | Registered: Nov 2008
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SLOWBACK 67
¯
Member # 6348
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posted
I'll have to remember some of those on my girl..... ![[Smile]](smile.gif) the lizard one is good ![[dance]](graemlins/dance.gif)
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Originally posted by turbo50:
I have no intenions of keeping anyones parts or taking anyones money.
Posts: 8582 | From: Vallejo | Registered: Dec 2005
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5OHS5OH
¯
Member # 4665
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posted
Some of those were pretty good.
How does a REAL man know when his woman has had an orgasm?
Real men don't care.
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89 Convertable GT
BBK Headers, cai
Posts: 1044 | From: San Bruno | Registered: Jul 2004
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SLOWBACK 67
¯
Member # 6348
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posted
B legit said whoever finishes first wins.... And I'm undefeted
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Originally posted by turbo50:
I have no intenions of keeping anyones parts or taking anyones money.
Posts: 8582 | From: Vallejo | Registered: Dec 2005
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03smknsvt
¯
Member # 5514
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by AL STOCK:
::: And Then The Fight Started :::
My wife sat down on
the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
====================================================================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 Seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
====================================================================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
Expensive - so I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
====================================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,and I kept
Staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my
old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
Drinking right after we split up
those many years ago, and I hear she
Hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
That long?'
And then the fight started...
===========================================================
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
Verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
Home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
And come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
Silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might Have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
====================================================================
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
With what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
Fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
====================================================================
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
First."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you
Worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started.....
LOL!! fucking great!
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03 silver cobra #3461 out of 8394
96 gt supercharged
03 mach 1
93 cobra
99 black bird
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
Posts: 1535 | From: san jose | Registered: Mar 2005
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Scoop
¯
Member # 8726
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posted
Sex is a race not marathon its not my fault I finish first haha.
Posts: 1121 | From: Out Chillin | Registered: Nov 2008
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