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Author
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Topic: Need some cafords help
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Anderthizzle
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Member # 7910
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posted
 
 
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Posts: 1056 | From: Here and there | Registered: Sep 2007
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915.0gt
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Member # 9518
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posted
Don't want to sound heartless or be a Dick but of she can't take care of the kids then she should close her legs or take the pills. It sucks that there are so many irresponsible parents out there but if you just ball her out then she will never learn.its not your kids and she ain't your wife so its not your reasonability. You could baby sit and help out but full out bailing this chick isn't going to fox anything. If she can't handle it and you want to take care of the kid.make her Pitt it up and you adopt it
Posts: 536 | Registered: Oct 2009
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915.0gt
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Member # 9518
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Sorry for all the spelling and Granger errors haha still getting used to my new phone
Posts: 536 | Registered: Oct 2009
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SLOWFOX
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Member # 11067
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posted
This dude^^^ has a point but we also gota look at it this way shes already in situation and that baby is gonna grow up without a father or someone else besides mom and really I come down to its not the babies fault and he shoudnt get punished plus you have an advantage you got 4teen girls to help you where she has all guys and you know we help for shit at home lol..plus this could be a good experience for your girls if they see this ain't easy the whole mommy thing they will think about it twice before they become pregnant.get me so I say go for it bro its a good deed and you will get your reward in time...
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" A Wolf under sheep's clothing"-svoRICK 2/10/12
Almost everything I asked for.
Posts: 2399 | From: ESSJ | Registered: Jul 2011
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NEIGHT
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Member # 8741
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posted
When's your daughter turn 18?
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-Savage Habits-
1992 Summer Edition
1986 Hatch- catfish killer
1964 Impala hard top
Posts: 18548 | From: EA$T $IDE REDWOOD CITY | Registered: Nov 2008
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1996 GT
I'm Joe Yates
Member # 4992
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posted
This "woman" needs to get spayed. How could you keep popping kids out with no way of taking care of them. Such a burden for you to take on and I applaud you. Just realize even though you might be the father figure in the kids lives, you're going to have to let the real father in their lives if he wants to be. If he wants to be a prick, the kids will find out eventually. This story sucks, good luck man. ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
Me personally, i'd let the chick figure this out on her own. I'd never be captain save a ho, seems to easy for her to just choose someone to handle her shit. I see a lot of unecessary drama, taking a baby in isnt like taking a dog in. THERE WILL BE ENDLESS BULLSHIT for the next 18 plus years dawg.
[ January 06, 2012, 06:42 AM: Message edited by: Cobra 93-4992 ]
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http://i.magaimg.net/img/257w.png
Posts: 9308 | Registered: Oct 2004
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NEIGHT
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Member # 8741
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Honestly I think you needa stay away from her. She's probably trying to use you in a way. I know a girl similar to the girl youdiscribed same age except 1 less child. All I have to say about that is that she's pure drama.
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-Savage Habits-
1992 Summer Edition
1986 Hatch- catfish killer
1964 Impala hard top
Posts: 18548 | From: EA$T $IDE REDWOOD CITY | Registered: Nov 2008
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wilit
Mustang Messiah
Member # 3367
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posted
So, baby #4 on the way is not yours and she wants you to take care of kid #3 which is not yours. Sounds like a bunch of baby mama drama that you're going to end up regretting getting involved with.
But I think for us to provide solid advice, we're going to need to see a pic of this girl to determine if she's hot enough to put up with this BS.
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"If a man hasn't found something worth dying for, he isn't fit to live." - Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 4793 | From: 37.78514° North 122.40100° West | Registered: Oct 2003
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NEIGHT
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Member # 8741
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quote:
Originally posted by wilit:
But I think for us to provide solid advice, we're going to need to see a pic of this girl to determine if she's hot enough to put up with this BS.
+fuckin1
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-Savage Habits-
1992 Summer Edition
1986 Hatch- catfish killer
1964 Impala hard top
Posts: 18548 | From: EA$T $IDE REDWOOD CITY | Registered: Nov 2008
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707clone
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Member # 10342
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by Cobra 93-4992:
This "woman" needs to get spayed. How could you keep popping kids out with no way of taking care of them. Such a burden for you to take on and I applaud you. Just realize even though you might be the father figure in the kids lives, you're going to have to let the real father in their lives if he wants to be. If he wants to be a prick, the kids will find out eventually. This story sucks, good luck man.
Me personally, i'd let the chick figure this out on her own. I'd never be captain save a ho, seems to easy for her to just choose someone to handle her shit. I see a lot of unecessary drama, taking a baby in isnt like taking a dog in. THERE WILL BE ENDLESS BULLSHIT for the next 18 plus years dawg.
you aint lyin an thats real
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Maybe I should get drunk off my HATERADE elsewhere?
I was slow to take the hint, so I'm taking a break from CAFords for the rest of the month. Now excuse me while I enjoy some cereal. Mmmmm Mmmmm good. Who else wants to join me?
Lil Ric!
R.I.P CHARLIE HUSTLE!
91gt p heads,b cam,3:55s,exhaust
89 coupe just startin on him
Posts: 2614 | From: v a dubble | Registered: Sep 2010
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Mr.Lucky
CAFords OG
Member # 1772
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posted
Must be Latin. Anyone catch she had her first kid at 16?!? Lol
Jokes aside, I applaud you for what you've done and offered to help. But I definitely see issues when the baby daddy finds out (you know he will) and tries to step in. Good luck.
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95GT: Bolt ons.
Good sellers/buyers: Stangs R Us, 1SicGt, sn4bwc, racsirx, WickedStang, Autumnstang97, cali95gt
Posts: 4197 | From: Manteca | Registered: Sep 2002
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v-town coupe
fordologist
Member # 2771
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posted
seriously, sounds like you got a lot on your plate.If your not with this chick for the long haul then its probably best not to do it. Only because sure your attached now. but when this kid is a few years older how much more are you going to be attached then? I see it as your pretty much going to get sucked in to taking care of this kid probably the rest of his life.
what happens when hes 10 and the pos father decides he wants to be part of his life and you didnt legally adopt this kid? are you going to be able to let him go? after all the hard work , money and attachment you now have? you really got a lot to figure out. I say if your going to do it, dont half ass it. Go all the way or dont even mess with it at all. if hes not living with you, you can still be a part of his life if that is your ultimate goal here.
If the mom cant handle another kid why is she having another one? She needs to take care of business! I commend you on the fact that you are being a Dad to your kids as well as someone else's. I could never do all that!
Posts: 4597 | From: the V-town | Registered: May 2003
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Wolfie351
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Member # 651
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posted
As John Lennon said, all you need is love. If you have that, then all the drama that goes with it is worth it.
As for the social commentary replies, it's good to know that cafords members are infallible
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1985 Mustang GT: 351W, Griggs, Baer, etc etc
Posts: 1214 | From: South Bay | Registered: Dec 2001
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Duh' Winning
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Member # 10713
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posted
37 and four teenage daughters. Sounds like your doing great. As to the friend, seems like either she's a close friend and you have been there for a long time. Other members here seem to think this was a overnight encounter.
I myself would maybe bring the little guy in for a little while being mom does need help with a new born. My guess with the way these members are talking they either don't have middle a couple kids themselves. But they just sound like typical 17-20 yr olds to me.
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Duh' Winning- Charlie Sheen
Posts: 1086 | From: 95352 | Registered: Mar 2011
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03smknsvt
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Member # 5514
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posted
if you love the kid like its yours then there shouldnt be a problem but just like the other members stated when the real dad wants to see him or take him then your gonna be out of luck..trust me been in this situation where i had to deal with kids that aint mine and after you attached yourself to them and out of nowhere the real dad shows up and takes them its a pretty fucked up feeling..but good luck to you ![[patriot]](graemlins/patriot.gif)
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03 silver cobra #3461 out of 8394
96 gt supercharged
03 mach 1
93 cobra
99 black bird
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
Posts: 1535 | From: san jose | Registered: Mar 2005
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Sydewayz_Stan
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Member # 10217
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posted
My advice for her would be STOP HAVING SEX IMMEDIATELY!!!
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-90 Vert-SOLD
-91 Notch-SOLD
-2000 Explorer 5.0-SOLD
-72 Maverick-SOLD
-2004 GT, vortech V2 si, 10 psi-
-2002 F150 supercrew-
Posts: 3432 | From: 707 vallejo/richmond 510 | Registered: Aug 2010
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lxhatch5.0
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Member # 6319
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by anderthizzle:
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I'm real uneasy around & dnt really like dating chicks with 1 kid! Its really fucking ackward when lil toddler kids that arent genetically mines call me "daddy/dad/papa" it happened once i stopped seeing the chick. Its not for me.
But it seems too me this is a really close friend of urs?
And ur doing this as a genuine favor with no hope of any sexual rewards?
I personally wouldn't do it....
But there has to be a guy for everything! If it makes u happy & you find that rewarding i say hey go for it.
[ January 06, 2012, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: lxhatch5.0 ]
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*NorCal
Posts: 1556 | Registered: Dec 2005
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coupedup
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Member # 9987
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posted
First I'd like to say that I commend you for being there for a lady in need of help. There's a lot of fathers out there who have children that don't want to be a part of the child's life. Which I don't understand. So for you to be considering taking on a child that is not biologically yours says alot about your character and I have alot of respect for that . Though there's a lot to consider, if you are doing it because you genuinely love that boy then I say if you feel you are up to the task then more power to you .
I hope things work for you and for the kid.
Posts: 4406 | From: Ca | Registered: May 2010
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sic70stang
CAFords OG
Member # 4347
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posted
Wow 21 going on kid #4
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The anti-crew
1987 rolling safety violation.
Posts: 6943 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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warhorse58gt
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Member # 7702
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by v-town coupe:
seriously, sounds like you got a lot on your plate.If your not with this chick for the long haul then its probably best not to do it. Only because sure your attached now. but when this kid is a few years older how much more are you going to be attached then? I see it as your pretty much going to get sucked in to taking care of this kid probably the rest of his life.
what happens when hes 10 and the pos father decides he wants to be part of his life and you didnt legally adopt this kid? are you going to be able to let him go? after all the hard work , money and attachment you now have? you really got a lot to figure out. I say if your going to do it, dont half ass it. Go all the way or dont even mess with it at all. if hes not living with you, you can still be a part of his life if that is your ultimate goal here.
If the mom cant handle another kid why is she having another one? She needs to take care of business! I commend you on the fact that you are being a Dad to your kids as well as someone else's. I could never do all that!
i'd say no. but that is me. there are a lot of good points in his post.. if you are going to do it then have her sing her rights over to you and adopt the little boy. nothing is going to kick you in the balls more than a scum bag pos father coming back in to his life and making yours hell. then get your friend on some birth control.. what is she going to do with baby #4 give that one away to someone else? as someone posted everyone makes mistakes. but having for kids #4 at 21 that you can't support is more than 1 mistake, and we aren't talking about buying a puppy or a junk car.
[ January 06, 2012, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: warhorse58gt ]
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WOLFPACK RACING
With guns, we are 'citizens'. Without them, we are 'subjects'.
83gt 354ci sbf 9.40 @ 143
77 cobra 2 171ci 97hp of pure fury!
Posts: 4200 | From: 209 | Registered: Jun 2007
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SIC9250
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Member # 8216
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posted
I just can't get past the whole "21 with 4 kids" let alone give some advice
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Coyote_Mach1
Posts: 6959 | From: in the drivers seat. | Registered: Feb 2008
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MiSsMaCh408
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Member # 9279
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by anderthizzle:
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.
Wow, Good job Dad, Be PROUD of yourself!!
As for your Lady friend.. I must have to AGREE with some of the postings here.."DO NOT GET INVOLVED". She's still YOUNG and if she was woman enough to Breed them, she should be WOMAN enough to Feed them! She probably sees you as a great father figure but.. you have your own children to take care of. Women like this KILL ME.. they make us hard working, Educated,reponsible,and INDEPENDENT Women look bad!
Please tell her to get SPAYED and "D" all of the above!!
[ January 06, 2012, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: MiSsMaCh408 ]
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MiSsMaCh408 aka SnAkE ChArMeR
"Da Legend LIVES (AgAiN)" XOXO
Posts: 79 | From: San Jose | Registered: Jul 2009
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Pure Stang
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Member # 7251
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posted
From experience don't do it! I Knew or now this girl that was a close friend with two kids she had nowhere to go. I paid for her hotels and let her stay in my house for nothing! It's a bunch of drama that's really not needed in somones life don't matter how nice or fine she is. In the end you'll be lucky to get a thank you.
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HEART BREAKER
R.I.P Willie Guzman (5ltrsvt) you will be missed brother.
04/24/87 - 11/23/2012
90 lx 347 RIP
86 gt
89 lx- next project
Posts: 6497 | From: San Jose | Registered: Nov 2006
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Anderthizzle
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Member # 7910
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posted
Thanks for the info my fellow caford members. I have know her for around three Years and she isn't trying to use me.the dad dOnt want to have noting to do with him he.the baby is named after him and he wanted to change his name because he is having another baby and wants to name his new son after him. We did have a short relationship in the past but I broke it off with her. She stills wants to go out every weekend and I'm done with that.we are better off just being friends.she dose alot of stuff for me to.she is there for my girls,there is some things that as a dad that I can't show my daughters. She Cleans and cooks and goes grocery shopping when I don't want to. Having the baby move in with me was my idea. I brought it up to her a year ago and she said know way,this was way before she was pregnant with number fOur.and she still don't want to do it.but i told her that she is gonna have way to trouble when her new baby is born so she said she wants to try and if she wasn't able to that she might let him live with me. I just needed an outside opinion and I knew you guys would help thanks my caford friends.
Posts: 1056 | From: Here and there | Registered: Sep 2007
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Anderthizzle
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Member # 7910
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by NEIGHT:
When's your daughter turn 18?
Ya sorry there neight.she has boyfriend.
Posts: 1056 | From: Here and there | Registered: Sep 2007
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