This is topic Divorce question in forum General Talk at Northern California Ford Owners  .


To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://californiafords.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=041989
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
Not sure but may be headed to the big D. I really don't want to. Anybody divorced. What was the experience like. I'm lost on this. Don't know what to expect
 
Posted by losbadgts (Member # 4394) on :
 
i been tru one and it all depends how your relationship ended, if u are cool with your ex than keep it cool through the whole process, but if it bad like mine [Frown] than u lose cars and other things and the stress is the worst part. my suggestion would be just keep it cool and educated yourself. [patriot]
 
Posted by 89point. (Member # 6078) on :
 
That sucks man, I hope it doesn't go that way buut.. Sell all your cars (on paper) to a parent or friend, give things away tvs anything that is worth anything to a friend that u know is gonna give back to u after the divorce is finalized because they will get half.. So if u don't have half to give then your good.
 
Posted by Yaterstang (Member # 7659) on :
 
Stop being a dick and say your sorry. My dad always told me its cheaper to keep her!
 
Posted by 1sicmaro (Member # 9734) on :
 
have some one go out with her and then catch her cheating then she wont get shit.
 
Posted by Big block 66 f100 (Member # 8867) on :
 
expect to lose everything
 
Posted by wilit (Member # 3367) on :
 
You have a house or kids? Either one will require a lawyer. If you have neither, you can do everything yourselves. It's pretty easy. My ex and I were pretty civil, so it was easy to split everything.
 
Posted by adower (Member # 5955) on :
 
Try to work it out. Yall loved each other enough to get married.

[ May 11, 2010, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: adower ]
 
Posted by SlowStockFox (Member # 1081) on :
 
never been through one...but i have heard its cheaper to keep as said above...and ive also heard to give everything to a frined or family member so u can get it back after...or you lose everything and u only get half....unless u can prove u paid for it with ur job and not her income. as long as u can prove its all u and not together {on thing su guys own} then u should be able to keep it. try to make it work and be cool with her and best of luck
 
Posted by HaulinAss Motorsports (Member # 541) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by 1sicmaro:
have some one go out with her and then catch her cheating then she wont get shit.
Not true.
 
Posted by Eddie510- (Member # 2354) on :
 
This is the shit that makes me never want to get married!
 
Posted by 89 FAKE SNAKE (Member # 4531) on :
 
damn sorry to hear..i say put all ur $$$ stuff and cars in someone else name so she cant take em..thats wha a friend mine did..but dnt kno how it would hold in court...but wha aint in ur name i dnt think she could touch..but mostllikey im prb wrong..
 
Posted by asskickn88 (Member # 4957) on :
 
Wow, what a bunch of BS answers. The best advise I can give you is to try and not get too worked up because it will only make things worse. Every single break up is different, it all depends on the people involved. No matter how hard you try if she isn't willing to be reasonable its going to get ugly. I've been through this twice and while your in the middle of it you'll feel like things couldn't get worse but you will eventually get over it and move on. If it looks like things are going that way for sure then hurry and get rid of stuff because once the papers are filed the property gets dragged into it. I moved all my stuff out and made it go away so was able to keep most of it. Good luck.
 
Posted by CHUGGNBREW'Z (Member # 7845) on :
 
I FELL LIKE IM A LITTLE KID ON THIS SITE WITH THIS POST [Frown] from these answers ima go with eddie on this i dont think ima ever get married [Mad]
 
Posted by JOEFOX87 (Member # 8331) on :
 
Learn your lesson and next time make her sign a prenup
 
Posted by N8 (Member # 6048) on :
 
Everyone is different so no one can say what to expect. But I can tell you one thing, the folks I have seen go through it were never the same after. Financially, mentally and responsibility wise.
 
Posted by fr5.0 (Member # 8652) on :
 
kill her.
 
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
Thanks for the advise and opinions. We are on decent terms now and are attempting to work it out but as she left me the ball is in her court. If it goes south imma try and be as responcible as I can
 
Posted by CobraChick (Member # 9885) on :
 
Maybe you guys should take a break from each other and then you will realize how much you care for one another once you guys are apart. I went thru some hard times with my husband. We have been married for only 4+ years, but at about the 3 year mark we were having some trouble and it was just time apart that made us realize we still wanted to be together. Well either way I hope it works out for you.
 
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
Haha cobrachick we are on the same page. She took off to sacramento And I just came to so cal for a few days. God I hope it works
 
Posted by Rigo5.0 (Member # 5247) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by CobraChick:
Maybe you guys should take a break from each other and then you will realize how much you care for one another once you guys are apart. I went thru some hard times with my husband. We have been married for only 4+ years, but at about the 3 year mark we were having some trouble and it was just time apart that made us realize we still wanted to be together. Well either way I hope it works out for you.
+1

Take some time apart before anything... 2-3 months living apart will determine whether you're ment to be together or not.

Good luck! [patriot]
 
Posted by N8 (Member # 6048) on :
 
Just curious are there kids involved?
 
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
 
Posted by CHUGGNBREW'Z (Member # 7845) on :
 
why did u guys split in the frist place? [Confused]
 
Posted by N8 (Member # 6048) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
Well that is one positive. With kids it gets real messy. So you guys would basically be just separating assets and talking money.
 
Posted by uncle bill (Member # 3953) on :
 
someone gave me advise once, they said "its better to be happy than right". it means dont sweat the small stuff. i try to follow that but its easier said than done. you said you dont want a divorce, then you and your wife need to have a serious talk, come with an open mind and leave the tuff guy at home. ive been married for 32 years this thursday got married at 21 do the math. hasnt always been easy but may have been the best thing i ever did since i was very wild and crazy in my youth. now im just semi wild and crazy. good luck, if you love her and shes worth it to you than shes worth keepin
forgot one thing. kids are great, they keep you grounded, but they wont save the marrage if you guys arent right for each other, if you split later the kids suffer the most

[ May 11, 2010, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: uncle bill ]
 
Posted by Slowback67 (Member # 6348) on :
 
+1 on what he said.

I went through a ruff patch with my girl. We went to couples classes and realize we weren't that f&@ked up. We both got alot out of doing the class together and I ended up getting engaged about a year later.
 
Posted by turbo50 (Member # 6700) on :
 
Remember your wedding vows and remind her of the same.


Marriage is sacred.
 
Posted by 90gtvert (Member # 8697) on :
 
Just remember to invest in a good shovel and trash bags if it goes South....probably easier that one....

Anyways I went through a nasty one, its tough man, work it out if you can.

Its cheaper to stay together for sure, and hopefully things work out for you.
 
Posted by Yaterstang (Member # 7659) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
Perfect, drop that bitch then. If she's actin up before kids then its only going to get worse with them!
 
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
Dave has it right. I gotta let her kno. We did this for a reason
 
Posted by iceman302 (Member # 7180) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by 1sicmaro:
have some one go out with her and then catch her cheating then she wont get shit.
Its not that easy in the great state of California. We've got ourselves a community property state. Basically, everything that's yours is hers and vice versa. If she happens to chat, that unfortunately doesn't change the rules of community property. Barring a solid prenup, she still gets half... even if she's been ridden more times than a dime store pony.

[ May 11, 2010, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: iceman302 ]
 
Posted by Eddie510- (Member # 2354) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Yaterstang:
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
No kids involved. Funny thing is we were tryin right before we split.
Perfect, drop that bitch then. If she's actin up before kids then its only going to get worse with them!
+ FUCKIN 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by 707vibrantcobra93 (Member # 4702) on :
 
Honestly she left cuz of my attitude and behavior. I'm tryin to get my act together but I'm not sure she believes I won't treat her poorly again. Dammit man. I don't wanna lose her but ultimately I don't wanna lose my stuff either
 
Posted by Notch1320 (Member # 2647) on :
 
Lose the toys! On paper, sell them to a trusted friend she doesn't really know. Work something out to hide them and all the valuable stuff car wise. Be smart about it, and if she knows the details of all your toys, you may be screwed. I was divorced back on 05 and lost a nice Cobra bacause I thought things would work out, so I never did anything to hide it. My race car was ripped apart, and when the subject came up of it's value, I printed her a KBB value on a non running 88 Mustang. She didn't get shit from it. She did however end up with half the value of my truck, race car trailer, house, and took the Cobra with her. Try your best to work it out, but cover your ass before it's too late!!!

At least there are no kids!!!

[ May 11, 2010, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: Notch1320 ]
 
Posted by CompSVT (Member # 7392) on :
 
Tom Leykis said it best "D.T.B."
 
Posted by bigjerry (Member # 6033) on :
 
Hire a hit man vs lawyer
 
Posted by Slowback67 (Member # 6348) on :
 
^ you can make a craigslist ad.... [Whoo Whooooo!]
 
Posted by Red98 (Member # 4625) on :
 
1. If she was trying to get pg and at the same time so unhappy with the relationship she was contemplating divorce, she's mentally/emotionally very immature and self centered. That's the kiss of death for a marriage. She's obviously someone you love, but at the same time with that mind set, not a good marriage partner at this time of her life. Those traits are hard for her to overcome as she doesn't see them as a problem.

2. You at least admit what the problem was, attitude and behavior and treating her poorly. Very few women would put up with that, and those that do won't be happy. Those are hard to change, but if you see them as a negative behavior, and want to change, you can.

3. Based on my experience for years with a mentally/emotionally immature self centered woman, if she doesn't want a divorce, I would. Not what you want to hear. But that's just my experience. And like with me, you need to clean your crap up, as you already mentioned.

4. You can always get new "stuff", but you can't always get happy.

As far as community property goes, it's stuff you get while you're married. If one of you bought a car during the marriage, it is completely community property, meaning 50/50 ownership. If you owned a car, house etc before the marriage, then it depends on the value of that item at time of divorce as to who owns what part.

If you owned a house when you got married and it cost say $200,000, but now is worth anything under 200,000, there is no gain in community value and she would have no financial interest in the house. It it is worth $250,000 now, there is $50,000 of community value, so she has a $25,000 interest in your house.

Same with a car, but if you owned it before marriage, and they usually depreciate, then she has no financial interest in the car. If you owned a clunker at marriage, and restored it to where it is worth more that when married, she has a financial interest. Based on my experience. And I don't think selling for cheap or transferring ownership is going to fly.

Good luck.
 
Posted by Elii (Member # 9988) on :
 
WIN HER BACK DOOOD!
 
Posted by Nastysvt (Member # 6431) on :
 
Watch this movie called fireproof. It's the perfect movie to watch on this situation. I guarantee it'll have some affect on your decision.
 
Posted by fasthatch (Member # 7277) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by 707vibrantcobra93:
Honestly she left cuz of my attitude and behavior. I'm tryin to get my act together but I'm not sure she believes I won't treat her poorly again. Dammit man. I don't wanna lose her but ultimately I don't wanna lose my stuff either
the best then i can tell from the dumb shit stuff i have done to my woman over the years is be honestly about how you feel about her in your life an go get help for what ever is making you take your angreesion at on her.an start dating her again like when you frist meet even it's only one nite a week if this doen't work start hiding shit b/c a pissed off woman can be evil an ruthless
 
Posted by 1QUIK93 (Member # 9592) on :
 
Try to work it out. +1 on you guys got married for a reason. If you guys broke up because of the way you acted and you still want to be with her just change. I haven't been through a divorce but I've been through a major break up and after a while we both realized how much we wanted/needed each other. Good luck. Hope that helped and hope you guys work it out.
 




Fueled by Ford Mustang Owners
on CaliforniaFords.com