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Author
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Topic: Chevrolet
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Wildfire532FB
CAFords OG
Member # 1482
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posted
 
 
I found this on myspace...LOL
Chevrolet
-Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
-Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Run On Luck Every Time
-Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
-Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my
Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?
Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A. Fill up the gas tank.
Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
IROC= I Run On Credit
IROC= I'm a retard out cruising
IROC= Idiotic retard Out Cruising
IROC= I reek of cologne
IROC= I really own crap
Z28= Zippy 2.8 Liter
SS= Super Slow
RS - Really Slow
CORVETTE= Completely Over-Rated, Very Expensive, Technically Troubled Engine.
[ March 22, 2006, 09:03 AM: Message edited by: Cobra5.0Jeep ]
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68 Fastback
84 CJ7
94 HMMWV
95 GT
03 F350
17 Fusion Hybrid
Posts: 17580 | From: 530 | Registered: Jun 2002
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SydeWayzSix
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Member # 2222
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posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) goooooooooo foooooooooooord! ![[patriot]](graemlins/patriot.gif)
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1989 Notchback "SF Giants" edition...
Goodbye '00 Kawi ZX-6R...you will be missed dearly.
....on with the show! :)
Posts: 1999 | From: Bay Area | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jenns 98 GT
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Member # 3395
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posted
Helllllllll yeahh!!!!!!!! ![[dance]](graemlins/dance.gif)
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~*MiSs Gt*~
Posts: 34 | From: San Jose, Ca. | Registered: Oct 2003
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El Caballo
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Member # 6355
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posted
This is "RACIST" not funny!!! ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
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..Bottled Ls6 C4 In Progress..
..slow 08 silverado...
..SVT4Ls7-rip...
: RevengE Is ThE SweetesT MothA F@kN TastE!!!
Posts: 628 | From: Mars | Registered: Jan 2006
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El Caballo
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Member # 6355
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posted
J/K
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..Bottled Ls6 C4 In Progress..
..slow 08 silverado...
..SVT4Ls7-rip...
: RevengE Is ThE SweetesT MothA F@kN TastE!!!
Posts: 628 | From: Mars | Registered: Jan 2006
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PWR HNGRY 302
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Member # 6000
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posted
Cool thread ![[worship]](graemlins/worship.gif) ![[Whoo Whooooo!]](graemlins/woowoo.gif)
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87 Fox- Restoration in progress
2014 Tacoma DCLB MGM
2017 Prius Prime (The Daily)
Posts: 2655 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Sep 2005
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SmokeyBurnout
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Member # 5745
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posted
Thanks Dana! I posted it up on the FE forum and those guys are really enjoying it.
Posts: 513 | Registered: May 2005
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BlackNGold
CaliforniaFords.com
Moderator
Member # 655
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posted
Good ones!....
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-SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT-
Posts: 5132 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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444_C.I.D.
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Member # 2956
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posted
LOL @ the Z06 pic.
Posts: 554 | From: Dyess AFB | Registered: Jun 2003
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ArchersGT
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Member # 5177
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posted
Like a rock, needs to be pulled by a ford or dodge.
[ March 22, 2006, 05:09 PM: Message edited by: archersgt ]
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86' LX Vert
Posts: 3241 | From: 916/707 | Registered: Jan 2005
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Wildfire532FB
CAFords OG
Member # 1482
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by archersgt:
Like a rock, needs to be pulled by a ford or dodge.
LOL thats a good one, i made this one up a while ago.
CHEVROLET = Crank Heavy, Engine valves Rattling, Oil Leaking, Electrical Trap!
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./_ _ _ ___ __\
(]]]_ _ o _ _[[[)
|\_o_ __ __o_/|
|__|..........|__|
68 Fastback
84 CJ7
94 HMMWV
95 GT
03 F350
17 Fusion Hybrid
Posts: 17580 | From: 530 | Registered: Jun 2002
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88DroptopGT
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Member # 2535
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posted
There are some good ones I've never seen before in this post.
Posts: 3978 | From: 707 | Registered: Mar 2003
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93cobracoupestang
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Member # 5765
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posted
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1993 Lx Coupe.....a couple bolt ons.
2007 Suzuki GSX-R 600
Posts: 398 | From: Riverside | Registered: Jun 2005
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SmokeyBurnout
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Member # 5745
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posted
I found more.
Q- you know why Chevrolets are around?
A-to keep the queers out of fords.
IROC - Incredibly Ragged Out Camaro.
This if FORD country, on a quiet night you can hear a Chevy rust!
Camaro- Cheap American Made Automobile, Rebuild Often
The new Chevys are coming with heated trunks !!!!! so when you push them your hands won't get cold.
Posts: 513 | Registered: May 2005
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Avengeance
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Member # 5163
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posted
![[BS flag]](graemlins/bs_flag.gif) ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
1. Ford is trying something new, they're putting heaters in the tail gates of their 1999 Ford trucks, It will keep your hands warm while pushing them in the winter!
2. Stats show that 90% of all Fords bought are still on the road, the last 10% made it home!
3. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Fords, our tools would rust.
4. WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Would you like a tow home?
5. FORD-Found On Road Dead
FORDS-For Old Retarded Dip (crap)
FORD-Found On Reservation Dump
FORD-Fix Or Repair Daily
FORD-Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
FORD-Factory Ordered Road Disaster
FORD-Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge
FORD-Flip Over Read Directions
FORD-Fixed On Race Day
FORD-Ford Owner Really Dumb
FORD-For Only Retarded Drivers
FORD-(Quack) Only Runs Downhill
FORD-Fat Old Rusted Dog
FORD-Funky Old Road Dog
FORD-Found On Roadside's Destroyed
6. HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!
7. WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
8. This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...
9. A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollipop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way.
The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollipops!"
Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"
^ LMMFAO!
10. Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest
11. WHY IS THIS COUNTRY (US) SO FAR IN DEBT?
Because the President drives a Ford
12. Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable?
That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money"
He admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.
13.
SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER
14. HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A FORD?
Fill it with gas!
15. If Ford mean's (First on race day) It is only because it is still there from the last race day.
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02' Limited Edition 35th Ann. SS
620rwhp/570rwtq. 10.6 @ 132mph.
Posts: 323 | From: NorCal | Registered: Dec 2004
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Mach0ne351
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Member # 927
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posted
HAHAHA
ive always used
"chevy like a rock, it just sits there"
haha
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2001 SVT Cobra
SCT Tuned by APEX Motorsports @ 317rwhp/304rwtq
www.32valve.com
Posts: 1182 | From: Marina, CA | Registered: Feb 2002
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