2stangs69-91
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Member # 1951
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posted
 
 
I recieved this one today.
Dear Friends and Family
As we close out 2007, let me thank all of you for all those emails this
past year.......
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one
about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open
for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the
1,387,258th time.
I am now broke but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending
me for participating in their special e-mail program .
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of
a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have
363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along
to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
filling up
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ..
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my ass.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. ( I like this )
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on
your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. (might look good)
I know this will occur because it actually happened
to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
By the way...a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!
--------------------
69 Mustang on hold
1991 LX hatch getting a make over
1994 F150 4X4 351
2006 Yamaha V-max 1200 Modded
Posts: 3711 | From: Redding | Registered: Oct 2002
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