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Author
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Topic: Girlfriend won't put out...
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stangin'
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Member # 514
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posted
 
 
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b1tch knows I'm smarter than her.
Not my story, but I thought you guys would get a . ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 2993 | From: Bay Area | Registered: Oct 2001
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WRS92GT
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Member # 5008
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posted
LMFAO
All women are prostitutes. Some just get paid more than others.
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01 F250 PSD Crew 4X4
Posts: 455 | From: Sacramento, CA | Registered: Nov 2004
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Luke87GT
Lay'n more stripes
than Caltrans
Member # 21
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posted
roflmao
roflmao
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Stangless
Posts: 7802 | From: San Mateo | Registered: Jul 2000
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t top freak
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Member # 6269
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posted
hahahaha thats outstanding.
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1994 cobra - sold!
1986 t top gt - parted out and sold!
on the hunt for another
Posts: 1023 | From: sacramento | Registered: Dec 2005
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351R
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Member # 5053
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posted
i totally understand-nice how you hit her wit that karma.woman dont understand sexual needs for men.they put out only when they want too-i always get"im tired"i have to wake up early"-get outta here
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06 R6 BLACK/RED RAVEN ALL STOCK 4 NOW
66 COUPE
88CHP/FOR SALE
"THE STREET DISCIPLE"
"SOON THEY WILL BELIEVE"
Posts: 339 | From: prideland(featuring oakland) | Registered: Nov 2004
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cummins
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Member # 5931
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by stangin':
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
This has to be the quote of the month. LMAO!
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Your definitely jealous of my strength and brains. - 68_427_Fastback
Cummins looks like the Wendy's girl......without the pig tails. - JT
Posts: 3441 | From: The Rice Fields | Registered: Aug 2005
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NorCalRydaz
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Member # 3233
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posted
Like one of my old co-worker use to say." It's cheaper to rent em'"
Posts: 2963 | From: San Jo | Registered: Sep 2003
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Stevo
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Member # 972
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by NorCalRydaz:
Like one of my old co-worker use to say." It's cheaper to rent em'"
The problem with renting is how bad was it treated the last time it was used. Was it maintained properly? Did the previous renter break it and try to fix it themselves? We all know how we treat rentals. Do you want to be stuck with a bad one?
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Av8er for life.....
Myspace is ghey!
Posts: 1072 | From: Conroe, TX | Registered: Mar 2002
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COPFITY
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Member # 1845
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posted
dude you're the fuckin man!!!! that was some mastermind shit.. as i was readin it i was thinkin.. wow whut a captain... but you killed me with that! you'll be in the dog house for a few but i'm glad theres people out there that still got sum ballz.
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'92 Mustang LX Coupe
-Procharger P600
'71 Camaro Project
'97 Saturn SL1(saving the planet)
Posts: 884 | From: Pittsburg CA... No "H" cuz we don't hate! | Registered: Sep 2002
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Jessie P
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Member # 7073
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posted
Absolutely astonishing. My hat is off to you and your way of thinking. ![[worship]](graemlins/worship.gif)
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Member of The Track Legion
Know Your Worth... Expect Nothing Less
Posts: 594 | From: Roseville, Ca. | Registered: Sep 2006
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DLo
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Member # 6133
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posted
Been a while since I seen that one, but it still cracks me up. Thanks for the post
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94 GT
Posts: 1876 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2005
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cummins
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Member # 5931
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posted
I just showed this thread to my g/f lets see if I can tap some ass tonight.
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Your definitely jealous of my strength and brains. - 68_427_Fastback
Cummins looks like the Wendy's girl......without the pig tails. - JT
Posts: 3441 | From: The Rice Fields | Registered: Aug 2005
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Wildfire532FB
CAFords OG
Member # 1482
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posted
I heard this joke on the radio tonight while working out...
An Iraqi moves to the USA and is so impressed with the beauty and lifestyle of the American people that he goes out onto the street to tell one.
He goes up to a man and says "Hello i love your country its so nice here"
The man says "I'm Mexican this isn't my country"
So the Iraqi goes up to a woman and says "I like how your country gives its citizens freedom"
The woman says "I am Korean, this isn't my country."
The Iraqi gets frustrated and goes up to another man and says "Your country has a lot more to offer to immigrants"
The man says "I am from the middle east, this isn't my country."
So the Iraqi sees another lady and goes up to her and says "Are you an American?"
She says "No i am Russian."
The Iraqi says, "Where are all the Americans?!"
The Russian lady looks at her watch and says "O they're all at work right now"
HAHA
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68 Fastback
84 CJ7
94 HMMWV
95 GT
03 F350
17 Fusion Hybrid
Posts: 17578 | From: 530 | Registered: Jun 2002
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93grbrGT
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Member # 6655
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posted
LOL!!! You guys are too funny!
Posts: 165 | Registered: Mar 2006
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86BackInBlack
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Member # 5372
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posted
Good job dude, wish i would have thought of that with a couple gf. ive only had one that was as sexual as me, and she was fucked up in the head.
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http://i.imgur.com/go1nj.gif
Posts: 1438 | From: san jose | Registered: Feb 2005
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Mr.Lucky
CAFords OG
Member # 1772
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by DLo:
Been a while since I seen that one, but it still cracks me up. Thanks for the post
+1 saw that a while back. Still funny ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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95GT: Bolt ons.
Good sellers/buyers: Stangs R Us, 1SicGt, sn4bwc, racsirx, WickedStang, Autumnstang97, cali95gt
Posts: 4197 | From: Manteca | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sk8OnGlass
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Member # 6370
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posted
LOL, that made my day, LOL .... ![[patriot]](graemlins/patriot.gif)
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First On Race Day
FORD
yup that's my stang in da pic
Posts: 533 | From: san Jose, CA. | Registered: Jan 2006
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twisted54
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Member # 1981
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by COPFITY:
dude you're the fuckin man!!!! that was some mastermind shit.. as i was readin it i was thinkin.. wow whut a captain... but you killed me with that! you'll be in the dog house for a few but i'm glad theres people out there that still got sum ballz.
Not his story...he was just sharing it with us...
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2013 Black on Black 5.0 with Boost N Things - CORN FED 🌽
Posts: 3421 | From: ebay | Registered: Oct 2002
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CLEEN 50
CAFords OG
Member # 5867
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posted
LMAO
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91 GT
(cafords reg date: 6/02)
Posts: 2534 | From: Peninsula | Registered: Jul 2005
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92stangLX
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Member # 3252
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posted
fucking awesome
Posts: 5302 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Sep 2003
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NonOpSlow2V
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Member # 6111
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posted
LMAO....AWSOME!!!...
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1997 Autumn Orange GT vert
1996 Mystic Cobra
2005 95ci Harley Road King
2011 F150 Raptor
Posts: 2139 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Oct 2005
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uncle bill
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Member # 3953
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by 66backinblack:
Good job dude, wish i would have thought of that with a couple gf. ive only had one that was as sexual as me, and she was fucked up in the head.
you still have her number
Posts: 415 | From: antioch | Registered: Dec 2003
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andyman_2k01
CAFords OG
Member # 1448
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posted
i just showed this to my gf...big mistake, she got all pissed and shit lol
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-00 Mustang GT (R Clone)
-99 Saleen Convert. #231-SOLD
Posts: 1503 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Jun 2002
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