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Author
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Topic: mid week joke
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1sicmaro
~ I <3 Moms ~
Member # 9734
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posted
 
 
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a cab driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
Posts: 231 | From: bay area | Registered: Jan 2010
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1sicmaro
~ I <3 Moms ~
Member # 9734
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posted
It's a beautiful warm spring day, and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest w/the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the sheer dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. He tells her to pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and flirt w/the ape.
She does, and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall; she does, and the gorilla is so excited, he's just about to tear the bars down.
The husband then suggests that the wife lift her dress up above the thighs... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in w/the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
Posts: 231 | From: bay area | Registered: Jan 2010
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50/50
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Member # 1724
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posted
Dad walks in the living room and says to his teenage son, "Son, were going out for steak tonight!"
"Holy cows dad! How can you afford such a meal on a tight budget?" replies the son.
"I donated my sperm for $75 a pop." says dad.
The son says, "Holy Shit! I've got $20,000 worth of towels in my room!"
![[burnout]](graemlins/burnout.gif)
[ May 20, 2010, 01:40 AM: Message edited by: 50/50 ]
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Previously named: VenGeance, 5LiterFever, 50cal.
Drive safely. You wanna drive in it. Not DIE in it.
Posts: 499 | From: Stockton | Registered: Aug 2002
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50/50
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Member # 1724
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posted
A young man goes to the doctor and says, "I think I might be gay. Is there a test you can perform to prove it?" Doctor tells him to drop pants and boxers. The Doctor grasps his left nut and asks him to repeat: "Say 99".
"99" replied the young man.
The Doc grasped his right nut and says, "Say 99". "99" replied the young man.
The Doc holds his cock with both hands and says to repeat "99".
"99" repeats the young man.
"Okay bend over" says the Doc. The Doctor snaps on a glove and lubes it up and gives him "THE LOVE FIST" and repeats: "Say 99"
And the young man says, "1.....2.....3.....4"
[ June 01, 2010, 05:01 AM: Message edited by: 50/50 ]
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Previously named: VenGeance, 5LiterFever, 50cal.
Drive safely. You wanna drive in it. Not DIE in it.
Posts: 499 | From: Stockton | Registered: Aug 2002
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50/50
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Member # 1724
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posted
What do you call a turtle with a hard-on?
A Slow Polk.
[ June 01, 2010, 05:03 AM: Message edited by: 50/50 ]
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Previously named: VenGeance, 5LiterFever, 50cal.
Drive safely. You wanna drive in it. Not DIE in it.
Posts: 499 | From: Stockton | Registered: Aug 2002
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SLOWBACK 67
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Member # 6348
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posted
Good jokes guys.. That gorilla one had me lmao.
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Originally posted by turbo50:
I have no intenions of keeping anyones parts or taking anyones money.
Posts: 8582 | From: Vallejo | Registered: Dec 2005
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stanger50
20yr club
Member # 1665
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posted
15 yr old boy comes home from school all excited about getting his first blowjob and cant wait to tell his dad about it. Runs into the garage and tells his dad, hey...got my first blow job today dad. dad relys, congrats son (with a big smile) how was it?
son replys, IT TASTED OFFEL
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1998 Cobra SVT convertible
Bright Atlantic Blue (1 of 247)
20 year club.
Posts: 1318 | Registered: Aug 2002
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50/50
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Member # 1724
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posted
This Blonde gal was at the mall one day passing out small papers while weeping and crying her eyes out pleading: "please help, we must do something for Gods sake!" She gave one to a passerby. When the man read it, he came back and asked: "what's the big deal about this coupon?"
The Blonde replied: "We must save "50cent" he's ill or dying we have to help him!"
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Previously named: VenGeance, 5LiterFever, 50cal.
Drive safely. You wanna drive in it. Not DIE in it.
Posts: 499 | From: Stockton | Registered: Aug 2002
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50/50
¯
Member # 1724
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posted
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using a public computer?
There's traces of white-out on the screen.
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Previously named: VenGeance, 5LiterFever, 50cal.
Drive safely. You wanna drive in it. Not DIE in it.
Posts: 499 | From: Stockton | Registered: Aug 2002
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