This is topic Need some cafords help in forum General Talk at Northern California Ford Owners  .


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Posted by anderthizzle (Member # 7910) on :
 
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.



 

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Posted by 915.0gt (Member # 9518) on :
 
Don't want to sound heartless or be a Dick but of she can't take care of the kids then she should close her legs or take the pills. It sucks that there are so many irresponsible parents out there but if you just ball her out then she will never learn.its not your kids and she ain't your wife so its not your reasonability. You could baby sit and help out but full out bailing this chick isn't going to fox anything. If she can't handle it and you want to take care of the kid.make her Pitt it up and you adopt it
 

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Posted by 915.0gt (Member # 9518) on :
 
Sorry for all the spelling and Granger errors haha still getting used to my new phone
 

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Posted by SLOWFOX (Member # 11067) on :
 
This dude^^^ has a point but we also gota look at it this way shes already in situation and that baby is gonna grow up without a father or someone else besides mom and really I come down to its not the babies fault and he shoudnt get punished plus you have an advantage you got 4teen girls to help you where she has all guys and you know we help for shit at home lol..plus this could be a good experience for your girls if they see this ain't easy the whole mommy thing they will think about it twice before they become pregnant.get me so I say go for it bro its a good deed and you will get your reward in time...
 

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Posted by NEIGHT (Member # 8741) on :
 
When's your daughter turn 18?
 

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Posted by Cobra 93-4992 (Member # 4992) on :
 
This "woman" needs to get spayed. How could you keep popping kids out with no way of taking care of them. Such a burden for you to take on and I applaud you. Just realize even though you might be the father figure in the kids lives, you're going to have to let the real father in their lives if he wants to be. If he wants to be a prick, the kids will find out eventually. This story sucks, good luck man.

Me personally, i'd let the chick figure this out on her own. I'd never be captain save a ho, seems to easy for her to just choose someone to handle her shit. I see a lot of unecessary drama, taking a baby in isnt like taking a dog in. THERE WILL BE ENDLESS BULLSHIT for the next 18 plus years dawg.

[ January 06, 2012, 06:42 AM: Message edited by: Cobra 93-4992 ]
 

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Posted by NEIGHT (Member # 8741) on :
 
Honestly I think you needa stay away from her. She's probably trying to use you in a way. I know a girl similar to the girl youdiscribed same age except 1 less child. All I have to say about that is that she's pure drama.
 

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Posted by wilit (Member # 3367) on :
 
So, baby #4 on the way is not yours and she wants you to take care of kid #3 which is not yours. Sounds like a bunch of baby mama drama that you're going to end up regretting getting involved with.

But I think for us to provide solid advice, we're going to need to see a pic of this girl to determine if she's hot enough to put up with this BS.
 

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Posted by NEIGHT (Member # 8741) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by wilit:

But I think for us to provide solid advice, we're going to need to see a pic of this girl to determine if she's hot enough to put up with this BS.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Cobra 93-4992:
This "woman" needs to get spayed. How could you keep popping kids out with no way of taking care of them. Such a burden for you to take on and I applaud you. Just realize even though you might be the father figure in the kids lives, you're going to have to let the real father in their lives if he wants to be. If he wants to be a prick, the kids will find out eventually. This story sucks, good luck man.

Me personally, i'd let the chick figure this out on her own. I'd never be captain save a ho, seems to easy for her to just choose someone to handle her shit. I see a lot of unecessary drama, taking a baby in isnt like taking a dog in. THERE WILL BE ENDLESS BULLSHIT for the next 18 plus years dawg.

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you aint lyin an thats real
 

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Posted by Mr.Lucky (Member # 1772) on :
 
Must be Latin. Anyone catch she had her first kid at 16?!? Lol


Jokes aside, I applaud you for what you've done and offered to help. But I definitely see issues when the baby daddy finds out (you know he will) and tries to step in. Good luck.
 

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Posted by v-town coupe (Member # 2771) on :
 
seriously, sounds like you got a lot on your plate.If your not with this chick for the long haul then its probably best not to do it. Only because sure your attached now. but when this kid is a few years older how much more are you going to be attached then? I see it as your pretty much going to get sucked in to taking care of this kid probably the rest of his life.

what happens when hes 10 and the pos father decides he wants to be part of his life and you didnt legally adopt this kid? are you going to be able to let him go? after all the hard work , money and attachment you now have? you really got a lot to figure out. I say if your going to do it, dont half ass it. Go all the way or dont even mess with it at all. if hes not living with you, you can still be a part of his life if that is your ultimate goal here.

If the mom cant handle another kid why is she having another one? She needs to take care of business! I commend you on the fact that you are being a Dad to your kids as well as someone else's. I could never do all that!
 

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Posted by Wolfie351 (Member # 651) on :
 
As John Lennon said, all you need is love. If you have that, then all the drama that goes with it is worth it.

As for the social commentary replies, it's good to know that cafords members are infallible
 

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Posted by blown doors off (Member # 10713) on :
 
37 and four teenage daughters. Sounds like your doing great. As to the friend, seems like either she's a close friend and you have been there for a long time. Other members here seem to think this was a overnight encounter.
I myself would maybe bring the little guy in for a little while being mom does need help with a new born. My guess with the way these members are talking they either don't have middle a couple kids themselves. But they just sound like typical 17-20 yr olds to me.
 

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Posted by 03smknsvt (Member # 5514) on :
 
if you love the kid like its yours then there shouldnt be a problem but just like the other members stated when the real dad wants to see him or take him then your gonna be out of luck..trust me been in this situation where i had to deal with kids that aint mine and after you attached yourself to them and out of nowhere the real dad shows up and takes them its a pretty fucked up feeling..but good luck to you
 

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Posted by sydewayzLX50 (Member # 10217) on :
 
My advice for her would be STOP HAVING SEX IMMEDIATELY!!!
 

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Posted by lxhatch5.0 (Member # 6319) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by anderthizzle:
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.

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I'm real uneasy around & dnt really like dating chicks with 1 kid! Its really fucking ackward when lil toddler kids that arent genetically mines call me "daddy/dad/papa" it happened once i stopped seeing the chick. Its not for me.

But it seems too me this is a really close friend of urs?
And ur doing this as a genuine favor with no hope of any sexual rewards?

I personally wouldn't do it....

But there has to be a guy for everything! If it makes u happy & you find that rewarding i say hey go for it.

[ January 06, 2012, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: lxhatch5.0 ]
 

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Posted by RONIN (Member # 9987) on :
 
First I'd like to say that I commend you for being there for a lady in need of help. There's a lot of fathers out there who have children that don't want to be a part of the child's life. Which I don't understand. So for you to be considering taking on a child that is not biologically yours says alot about your character and I have alot of respect for that . Though there's a lot to consider, if you are doing it because you genuinely love that boy then I say if you feel you are up to the task then more power to you .

I hope things work for you and for the kid.
 

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Posted by SIC70STANG (Member # 4347) on :
 
Wow 21 going on kid #4
 

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Posted by warhorse58gt (Member # 7702) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by v-town coupe:
seriously, sounds like you got a lot on your plate.If your not with this chick for the long haul then its probably best not to do it. Only because sure your attached now. but when this kid is a few years older how much more are you going to be attached then? I see it as your pretty much going to get sucked in to taking care of this kid probably the rest of his life.

what happens when hes 10 and the pos father decides he wants to be part of his life and you didnt legally adopt this kid? are you going to be able to let him go? after all the hard work , money and attachment you now have? you really got a lot to figure out. I say if your going to do it, dont half ass it. Go all the way or dont even mess with it at all. if hes not living with you, you can still be a part of his life if that is your ultimate goal here.

If the mom cant handle another kid why is she having another one? She needs to take care of business! I commend you on the fact that you are being a Dad to your kids as well as someone else's. I could never do all that!

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i'd say no. but that is me. there are a lot of good points in his post.. if you are going to do it then have her sing her rights over to you and adopt the little boy. nothing is going to kick you in the balls more than a scum bag pos father coming back in to his life and making yours hell. then get your friend on some birth control.. what is she going to do with baby #4 give that one away to someone else? as someone posted everyone makes mistakes. but having for kids #4 at 21 that you can't support is more than 1 mistake, and we aren't talking about buying a puppy or a junk car.


[ January 06, 2012, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: warhorse58gt ]
 

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Posted by SIC9250 (Member # 8216) on :
 
I just can't get past the whole "21 with 4 kids" let alone give some advice
 

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Posted by MiSsMaCh408 (Member # 9279) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by anderthizzle:
I am a single dad of four daughters 17,16,13,and 11.and I am doing a pretty good job at it.I am 37 years Old,I have a friend she is 21 she is a single mother of 3 boys 5,3,18 month old and she is 7 months pregnant not mine thank god.her two oldest kids has a dad that is part of there lives.the 18 month old dad is a piece of shit I have been there for him since the day he was born.he calls me dad and I love him like he is the son that I will never have.here is what I need some info on Me and the mom was talking about her letting the 18 month old come live with me when her new baby is born.because she can't take care of four kids under five years old all by herself.so I don't know what i wanna do it just Need some advise about it. I can afford and she said she will help with all his needs. My girls want me to do it. So that's not an issue either. Any advise will help.

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quote:

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Originally posted by NEIGHT:
When's your daughter turn 18?

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quote:

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Originally posted by sydewayzLX50:
My advice for her would be STOP HAVING SEX IMMEDIATELY!!!

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Ya she finally figured that one out.four Kids later.
 

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Posted by 510cpskid (Member # 8277) on :
 
i think i know, this girl karris?
 

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Posted by dvuspny (Member # 10949) on :
 
Id say no bailout. ......sounds like you have your hands full Already. You have three girls. So do i..... And two boys. Im the same age. Thats a hand full Already. Mine are similar ages. It will be fun for a little while for your daughters then reality may hit and you'll be on your own with starting all over the with a fairly new one. Give yourself a break. You have enough responsibility to your very own family first. Still can be a friend and help out from time to time with no promises.
 

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Posted by v-town coupe (Member # 2771) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by anderthizzle:

quote:

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Originally posted by NEIGHT:
When's your daughter turn 18?

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Ya sorry there neight.she has boyfriend.

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plus her boyfriend has a green card and his mustang is faster then neights!
 

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