This is topic Slower traffic KEEP RIGHT! in forum General Talk at Northern California Ford Owners  .


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Posted by BCINGUU (Member # 2397) on :
 
Found this on best-of-craigslist (edited it a bit) and thought it was good for a Friday laugh.

If you are in the left lane and you want to drive at a leisurely pace, I understand. GET IN THE RIGHT LANE. This is the lane for slower traffic.

If you are driving in the left lane and you are dead even with the guy in the right lane, YOU ARE FUCKING UP.

There are people behind you with appointments to keep, jobs to go to or who may have an urgent need to use the bathroom. Please move to the right and let them get about their business.

When the light actually turns green there shouldn’t be a deliberative process necessary before you STEP ON THE GAS.

The roads are overcrowded as it is and all it takes is a couple of retards sitting and staring at a green light for 15 or 20 seconds to start a chain reaction behind them that leads to what we call VOLUME SLOWING.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had grind my teeth because there are three flaming A-holes side by side leisurely driving down the road 15 or 20 miles below the speed limit.

MERGE RIGHT ASS HAT!

Some of the people passing you may exceed the speed limit in doing so.

This is perfectly legal but even if it wasn’t please remember, YOU ARE NOT A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. We have paid professionals who are perfectly capable of enforcing the law and YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.

By intentionally slowing traffic you ARE BREAKING THE LAW and may be ticketed for this violation.

If you are in the right lane and someone in the left lane is signaling to get over LET UP ON THE GAS. I don’t know how many times I have put on my signal for thirty or forty seconds and tried to merge right only to experience a blaring horn and upraised finger from some retard who has been pacing me in my blind spot for the last mile or two.

Just for the record, this is why so many people fail to signal turns and “cut you off”. They know that as soon as you see the turn signal you will probably sit your passive aggressive ass directly in the way and stay there for as long as possible.

About being “cut off”. The only people who are “cut off” are those who REFUSE TO YIELD. You do not own the road and must share it with about a million other drivers.

There are other distractions that interfere with the flow of traffic that you should learn to deal with in a mature and proactive fashion like accidents.

Accidents happen but unless you are a medical professional who is slowing down in order to stop and render aid KEEP MOVING.

I’m not advocating blasting through police diversions at 60 miles an hour but there is no need to slow down to a crawl when passing an accident,

RUBBERNECKS CAUSE ADDITIONAL ACCIDENTS so if you and your voyeur family don’t want to become a part of the roadside tragedy you are gaping at, GET A MOVE ON.

The same goes for other roadside diversions including break downs, pretty girls getting ticketed, accidents on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET, emergency vehicles going in the opposite direction on a divided road and related events,

In conclusion. I don’t care what kind of self-absorbed butt nugget you are in the rest of your life please remember that you are piloting a couple of tons of metal glass and plastic around the road.

Try to rise above your vile self just long enough to get from A to B without pissing every other driver on earth off and we’ll all be a lot happier and some of us may live a little longer.

Thank you in advance for your fine cooperation.
 
Posted by racsirx (Member # 1710) on :
 
LOL, I drive alot and there always seems to be some asshole driving slow in the fast lane, I just cant believe that so many people forget that the fast lane is a passing lane and that they need to yeild to faster traffic, and the crazy thing if you flash your high beams to signal the slower car that he needs to yeild, they always seem to slow down just to piss you off, so now I just tailgate them and then pass when I can, but come real close, like inches, just my way of saying get "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE FAST LANE". The real sad thing is the fastest lane on the Bay Bridge is the slow lane!!!!
 
Posted by 86BackInBlack (Member # 5372) on :
 
LOL thats a great rant.

I remember one time i was driving on 280 north and an asian families bmw wagon had a flat. No problem there except they left the car in the middle lane and were just watching it from the median! Dont drive a car if you dont know how to do a simple thing like change a spare. Or at least have a can of fix a flat, geesh
 
Posted by BlackNGold (Member # 655) on :
 
It's been my "Sig" for the past 3 years...

........I don't understand some people either....
 
Posted by 50DADDY (Member # 3076) on :
 
Man,i love that!Can we get it on the front page of the DMV handbook please.
 




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